


Awkward Conversations

by hhayfever



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Crush, Crushes, M/M, Pining, depression and pill taking mention?? probably not accurate though, i rlly wanted Rich to be using emojiis?? but AO3 wont do that so fuck lmao, im sorry if theyre super duper out of character, whoops i didn't mention christine even though i love her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 07:32:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15456381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhayfever/pseuds/hhayfever
Summary: Rich Goranski is just trying to survive after his SQUIP is shut down. However, it gets harder to survive when he keeps having awkward conversations with his crush that nearly kill him each time.Michael Mell is just trying to survive after his best friend nearly destroys their school by way of Japanese computer pill. It doesn't get easier though when he keeps having awkward conversations that lead to Michael discovering he has a thing for short guys.





	Awkward Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Rich's mental health days can sometimes lead to a bored and wandering brain. Which is how he ends up remembering the first time he talked to Pac-man extraordinaire Michael Mell and that oh yeah!!!!! he has a slight crush on him. oops.
> 
> I've been trying to finish this since like forever and it's still pretty short but whatever. Also, sorry if anyone seems OOC it's because I'm bad at fanfiction.

Rich woke up with a migraine. A blinding pain so intense that it felt like a knife was digging into his brain. However, this was typical, because ever since his SQUIP had been shut off Rich would have to go through his day with headaches and the faint sound of Kermit the fucking frog laughing. His experience was the reason he couldn't watch or look at anything Muppets related and was sometimes the reason he couldn’t sleep at night.  
Rich groped his bedside table for his phone, only glancing at the screen when he found it. Holy fuck it was 10:11, no wonder the house was silent, his family had already left for the day. He sighed, knowing he was spending another day out of school. His constant sick days kept making his makeup-work pile up, and it wasn’t helping with his already declining mental health. But, it was whatever, he was Richard fucking Goranski and he could do anything.  
At least, that's what he would have said, if he was on his meds, or if he was still connected to the SQUIP and its shiny happy hive mind. But, he wasn't, so, he squeezed his eyes shut as he slowly dragged himself out of bed. He wobbled as he stood, grabbing onto his nightstand for balance.  
Rich opened his eyes, squinting at the sunlight peeking through his curtains and carefully walked towards the kitchen. His head continued to pound as he put a frozen waffle into the toaster. It didn't stop when he poured a bowl of Captain Crunch, using the last of the milk, and it didn't stop when he poured some of the dry cereal on top of his waffle. However, the pain did stop relatively an hour after taking his migraine and depression pills.  
He was on new meds since the last pair of medications didn't get along. They'd throw him into a comatose-like sleep for half the day, which did not help with his productivity levels. Rich’s new meds actually kept him awake long enough to be happy and pain-free, so he was felt good with the switch.  
After his breakfast and sitting on the couch watching whatever was on T. V Rich stumbled his way to his bedroom. Looking in his full body mirror, he posed, flexing his arms and smiling wide, before letting his face fall flat. He took his shirt off, staring at the burn scars crawling up his stomach and reaching his arms. He poked at his aforementioned stomach; he was becoming pudgier the longer he went without working out. His SQUIP had also kept him in tip-top shape but being without it, he was starting to let himself go. He didn’t mind that much, but it was still bringing him closer and closer to himself before his SQUIP.  
He didn't know how he felt about that, being his old self. Rich ran his fingers through his hair. The red streak was a dull pink now. He hadn't dyed it in forever. God, everything in his life was shit. Then, Rich heard an intense buzzing from the other side of his room. He walked over to his phone, already knowing it was Jake.  
Rich picked up his phone and opened Jake’s message:

  
RECEIVED AT 11:43 am from Jakey Big D  
Sup dude! Sent the English HW to ur email!! Brooke says hey btw, her phone is still in the shop  
SENT AT 11:45 Thanks bro, tell Brooke I said hey B)  
   

Rich fiddles with the pop-socket on the back of his phone, as he stares at his texts with Jake before exiting the app and opening Instagram. He then scrolls through his feed. There’s a post from Jenna’s spam account, a dumb screenshot from Roblox with a caption obviously vague posting about Chloe. Rich doesn’t dare like it, just in case Chloe sees it. He scrolls on, seeing pictures from the bands he follows and a couple musical theatre actors.  
The last post in Rich’s follower feed is by Michael Mell. It’s a selfie of him with a six pack of Mountain Dew Red, with Jeremy hiding his face in the background. The caption reads “when ur friend is a thristy ho.” Rich snorts, and double taps on the image.

Yet, he doesn’t immediately exit Instagram after that. He continues staring at Michael observing every detail of his face. He’s smiling, really wide. It’s a big dopey smile, with all his teeth showing, and his braces poking out from his bottom lip. Rich really likes his smile, he also likes the way Michael's hair peeks out from beneath his hoodie and how his glasses are lopsided on his face. It reminds Rich of when he first spoke to Michael, well really the only time he’s talked to him. It was at the hospital before Jeremy had woken up.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Rich was surprised when they’d put Jeremy in the same room as him. He’d been alone in the hospital for a couple weeks already. Of course, his family visited, but they all had jobs, and they couldn’t risk taking too much time off. Money was tight, especially now, with Rich’s hospital bills and his dad’s increasing levels of alcoholism. However, that’s not to say that he didn’t enjoy the thought of Jeremy’s company, so when Jeremy arrived completely unconscious, Rich sighed for what felt like five minutes.  
Then, he heard the door open and watched as a man and Jeremy’s friend, the one who always wore headphones, walked in. Rich thought his name might be Michael? But he wasn’t sure. Also, he figured the man was Jeremy’s dad, he looked old enough, and this caused Rich to ask the question of where Jeremy’s mom was. When Rich emerged from his thoughts, he watched Mr. Heere pace around the room questioning Michael every few seconds about what had happened. Rich knew, or at least he guessed. Somehow Jeremy had gotten rid of his SQUIP, and Rich’s, while at the school play. He’d ask Jeremy later or maybe Micheal- Just as he had the thought he heard Mr. Heere sigh and leave the room, mumbling something about needing some air.  
Rich looked at Michael from his bed. He was sitting in a chair, on the other side of the room, facing Jeremy. He looked tired and sweaty, and he was biting his lip while his knee was bouncing up and down. Michael looked focused in his thoughts, and Rich was sure neither him nor Mr. Heere, had even noticed that he was there. Which made it hard to figure out how to talk to Michael, on top of that, he’d never spoken to him before, of course, he’d teased him, but he’d never had any type of conversation with him.

It took guts for Rich to say a single word to Michael, and that’s what he did. He said a single word, well, maybe not a word, but he did say “Uhh” loud enough for Michael’s head to snap towards him in what looked like a painful fashion. Michael blinked, staring Rich in the eyes processing his sudden appearance. His mouth opened and closed like a fish’s before he spoke.  
“Oh.” He coughed into his clenched hand, “I uh didn’t realize you were here.”  
Rich’s mind raced with thoughts of how to handle this situation. He waited for a voice in his head to say something but soon realized that he was now alone without his froggy lifeline. This caused him to start panicking, all while staring directly at Michael, who was fidgeting with his hoodie sleeves and eventually pulled them up, revealing a tattoo on his right arm. Rich’s thoughts stopped; “I like your tattoo!” he unthinkingly blurted out. “Fuck,” He repeated in his head.  
Michael looked down at his tattoo. It was black line art of Pac-man eating three dots. He looked back at Rich. “Uh, thanks.”  
Michael probably didn’t expect Rich to keep talking but suddenly his mouth was gushing out words like a broken faucet. “My brother, he used to take me to that old arcade, and he’d play the pac man machine for like hours while I ran around playing literally anything else. But dude, sometimes he’d let me play when he was low on quarters and I’d suck so bad. Literally so terrible, and one time he was about to beat the high score and I came up from behind him and scared him and it scared the shit out of him lmao. I made him die on accident though, and he was so pissed that he chased me around the arcade.” Rich exhaled and closed his eyes before flashing them open waiting, but not expecting a response.  
“Jeremy and I used to go there a lot before it closed down.” Michael looked at Jeremy “I set the last high score on the Pac-man machine before it closed. We got matching tattoos to remember the good times there. Also, they looked cool as fuck.” He chuckled looking back at Rich.  
Rich laughed. “Shit I wish my parents would let me get a tattoo, but my mom would rather kill me than let me get any sort of ink. Consi-” Rich stopped and thought back to every single word he’d said and he swallowed. He had been talking with his lisp. Fuck fuck fuck, of course, he was speaking without his lisp, he didn’t have his SQUIP. He still somehow expected a shock, but more than that he expected to hear laughter, cold and cruel.  
“Uh, Rich? Are you ok?” Michael was standing in a type of half step towards him.  
Rich blushed when he saw Michael. Why was he worried about him? Also, why was he so tall holy shit? He definitely wasn’t a giant like Jake, but he was still tall, especially compared to Rich. “I uh, it’s-” He tried to concentrate on talking normally, “It’s nothing I just, realized I was speaking with my lisp.” He closed his eyes, waiting for a “duh no shit, now fix it” or something like that. But instead, he heard the sound of Michael sitting back down in the springy chair.  
Michael made a nose exhale/laugh. “Was that it dude? You scared me, I thought you were having Vietnam flashbacks or something.” Rich half smiled, Michael was starting to warm up some, which helped with some of Rich’s anxiousness. Michael continued, “I didn’t know you had a lisp though. Or maybe I just never heard you say anything with an ‘s’ in it.”  
Rich went out on a limb, guessing that Michael would know what he was talking about. “My SQUIP kept me from talking with it.”  
Michael’s eyes went wide, “Oh, uh, yikes.” His hand twitched, almost as if he was ready to slap himself in the face. “I mean, sorry, that’s not … good?” His knee started bouncing again and Rich smiled.  
“Yeah it sucked, but whatever, you know?” Rich attempted at shrugging in his cast and winced. Michael nodded slowly. Then they heard a noise. Rich turned his head with Michael to see Jeremy stirring in his bed. He wasn’t doing much of anything just moving around, but Michael had an intense and worried look in his eyes.  Rich felt a pang in his heart, - Why? He didn’t know - when he looked at the way Michael was watching Jeremy.  
Michael stood, “I’m gonna go talk to Mr. Heere, or get a nurse, or uh something.” He was still watching Jeremy and when he walked towards the door he tripped over his own foot. Rich just followed Michael with his eyes, like he was in a movie theatre staring at a story that wasn’t his.  
  
………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Jeremy stayed in the hospital one night and half a day. Michael came back multiple times during that time, but he never spoke to Rich, and Rich never tried to speak to him. Mr. Heere also stopped by, always with Michael, except on the first night when he slept in the room in a chair. When Jeremy woke up, it was during the one time Mr. Heere or Michael wasn’t in the hospital room.  
Rich had been zoned out, watching the local news channel the television had been left on when he heard a soft “Hello?” from the side of the room. He turned his head and watched as Jeremy attempted to sit up. “Feels like you’re missing a part of yourself, doesn’t it?”  
Jeremy slowly turned his head, holding onto his skull and grimacing. “...Rich?”  
Rich tried to nod. “Hurts like a motherfucker too. Be honest: what are they saying about me at school?” He’d been thinking about school and his classmates ever since he’d been in the hospital, but his conversation with Michael hadn’t seemed like the right time. “That bad?”\  
Jeremy winced, “Sorry…”  
Rich smiled, of course, he was hurt but was also really thankful to Jeremy. “Sorry? I’m finally free of that shiny happy hive mind! When I get outta here, the ladies are gonna learn to love the real Richard Goranski.” He winked at Jeremy and his thoughts shifted to his and Michael’s conversation. Rich felt like he had had an epiphany all thanks to super hot headphones kid. “And the dudes.” he continued, “Oh my god, I’m totally bi!”

Jeremy did not seem to be listening though, “Your SQUIP’s gone? But how?”  
Rich blinked, he figured Jeremy would know. “Ask your buddy. Anti-social headphones kid?” He was still unsure of his name and didn’t want to embarrass himself even more in front of Jeremy. “He’s been by like, a ton, by the way.” And he didn’t really want to say what he was thinking but he did. “What is he, your boyfriend? No judgment. Just curious. Totally bi now.” Rich hoped that his question had come off in a normal “I don’t have a slight developing crush on your best friend and possibly boyfriend” kinda way.  
Jeremy glared at Rich and began to speak, but was interrupted by Michael barging in and going towards Jeremy. “I’m sure someone special will be lucky to have you, Rich.”  
Rich blushes looking at Michael, “You think?” Michael looks at him and pulls the curtain to separate them. Rich sighs silently and listens to Michael and Jeremy converse.  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Rich hears his phone buzz and he wakes up from his daze. God, how long had he been in his haze of weird Michael memories? He purposely avoids looking at the time on his phone to see just how long he’d been out when he goes to his messages. He hadn’t gotten a response from Jake yet, but he had received a new text from Jeremy.  
  
RECEIVED AT 11:57 am from Jeremy tall-ass  
we stil on tonight..? my dad willbe out with his gf... is it ok if Michael comes thouhg..? he hasn’t seen fantastic 4 yet.. And we like to wwatch bad movies,.. its ok if you dont want him to come.  
  
Rich’s heart skipped a beat, Michael would be there, and if he had the balls, he could actually try and talk to him. This was why Rich liked texting, he could take time to process the words he wanted to say and not fuck up.  
  
SENT AT 11:59 am  
Hell yeah tall-ass! Let’s make this shit a bros night B)  
  
Rich realized he’d been holding his breath while typing and exhaled the second he sent his text. He thought about Michael and actually getting to have another conversation with him and maybe quite possibly, not acting like a completely clueless baby. So he stands up and he walks to his dresser, searching for some sort of outfit.  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> plspleaseplz don't call me lazy for using script dialouge, i just wanted it to seem canon :,)  
> I might make this a series but idk


End file.
